


Problems

by Aibohp



Series: Three Is A Powerful Number [4]
Category: IT (2017), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Insecurity, Internal Conflict, Light Angst, M/M, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-10
Updated: 2017-12-10
Packaged: 2019-02-13 02:17:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12973548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aibohp/pseuds/Aibohp
Summary: Bill, Eddie, and Richie all have problems.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I have been on a writing binge! Enjoy.

Richie didn’t get it. 

Eddie was such a spastic shit. 

Yet there he was, kissing Bill in the middle of the fucking school. 

Richie, Bill, and Mike, had been hanging around Bill’s locker, waiting for Eddie to get out of his Language Arts class so that they could all head to lunch together. Despite all the students hurrying to the cafeteria the three of them had formed a little undisturbed bubble. Bill had handed one of his journals to Mike to read what he’d gotten down of his latest short story. In return he’d gotten to look through the portfolio that Mike had been building. 

Then there came Eddie, hurrying around the corner and making a beeline for the little group. 

As soon as they were in arms length Bill started leaning down and Eddie started leaning up. They met in the middle for a short, sweet kiss before Eddie’s arm wrapped around Bill’s waist. It was cute but Richie still felt a little twinge of jealousy and nervousness pinch at his gut. No one seemed to be looking but it was Derry. Owning up to being some sort of queer was like painting a target on your back. 

That was why Richie always declined to engage in any sort of PDA with either Bill or Eddie. Or at least that’s what he told himself. 

“Alright, lovebirds. Come on,” Mike said, snapping the journal closed and trading it for his portfolio. 

Just like that, they started off toward the caf, Bill and Eddie holding onto each other like it was fucking nothing. So far as Richie could see noone was staring and it wasn’t even public knowledge that he was dating both of them. Still, he felt the weight of a thousand eyes on his back as they walked. 

Eddie was entirely unaffected. 

That bitter twinge of jealousy was back. 

How did he fucking do it? 

Eddie wasn’t shy, per say but he was twitchy. He and Stan were always ready with a lecture whenever it came to anything fun. 

_“You really shouldn’t jump off the roof and onto the trampoline, Richie.”_

_“You can’t just pierce your ears in a latin class, Bev! That is how you get an infection!”  
“Do you really think I didn’t see you weaving in and out of traffic on Silver today, Bill? Really? Are you trying to die?” _

So how did he so easily throw caution to the wind and love on Bill every chance he got? It hadn’t even been a full week since the fight with Joshua and his cronies. The scrapes on Bill’s face were healing but still showed darkly against his cheekbone. Eddie wouldn’t even drink out water fountains half the time! Surely he could hear his mother’s voice droning on in his head about AIDS and all the other horrors of being gay! 

Richie could certainly hear his. 

_“Why are you like this, Richie?”_

_“Are you sure? Maybe you just haven’t met the right girl!”_

_“Why can’t you just be normal?”_

_“And here I was worried you’d get some poor girl pregnant in high school! Now I might not have grandchildren at all!”_

That was the real reason he wouldn’t show Bill or Eddie any affection where others could see. His mother would lose her mind if she found out about him like guys. If she found out about Eddie and Bill she’d probably take that final step into full on hating him. She already hated everything _about_ him. 

Richie had no doubt that his mother _loved_ him. Sure she did. But she didn’t like him. 

She hated his music. 

She hated his sense of humor. 

She hated the movies he liked. 

Sometimes he was even sure that she hated his friends. 

That hadn’t started right away. Before they had gotten to be around 15 she loved Beverly, Bill, Eddie, Stan, Mike, and Ben. Then they had gotten older and started getting into mischief, a teenagers are wont to do. The fact that she’d caught him sneaking into the house, drunk, after breaking curfew to hang out at the quarry with Bill and Beverly one night hadn’t helped anything. 

“Are y-you alright, Ri-Richie?” 

Bill’s voice snapped him out of his musings and Richie found himself a little surprised that they’d made it all the way to the cafeteria. He even had a fucking tray in his hands. It had food on it! Bill frowned at him as he put a little cardboard box of tater tots on Richie’s tray beside the mostly flat and highly questionable burger.

“What,” Richie asked, giving his head a little shake and then grabbing his own jello when they shuffled down the line. “I’m fine. Just zoned out, I guess.” 

“I-If you say s-so,” Bill said, giving him a smile that looked more uncertain than satisfied. He wouldn’t push him, though. “Y-You coming to the qu-quarry with us later?” 

“Why’re we going there? It’s too fucking cold to swim,” Richie asked, frowning as he paid for his food. Behind him Mike laughed and slapped him on the back. 

“You really haven't been listening, have you? Bill convinced Eddie to let us get him drunk,” Mike said with a grin.

“Oh is that so? How many blowjobs did he have to promise you for that to happen,” Richie asked, smirking as he joined Bill and Eddie where they were waiting for him and Mike. 

“Shut up, Richie! Jesus. He wasn’t talking before, why’d you have to go and ruin it, Bill,” Eddie asked, his cheeks flushed with embarrassment and annoyance. “Besides, Richie, he can’t bribe me with something he would have done for me anyway.” 

“The boy has a point,” Mike said as he caught up with them, a grin on his face. 

Bill blushed but the comments weren’t able to wipe the grin off his face as they started trudging toward their usual table. And as Richie followed him and Eddie, he couldn’t help but think that he loved how the two of them looked with their cheeks painted red. When they reached their destination, a quite table toward the back of the room, he plopped down beside Mike while Bill and Eddie sat opposite them. 

“So if you’re not doing it for the blowjobs then why’re you letting us get you drunk,” Richie asked, unwrapping his burger and taking a monstrous, bite. Eddie looked absolutely appalled and threw a napkin at him. 

“There’s no reason! It’s just what teenagers do, ya know,” Eddie said, his excuse sounding more feeble as he went on. At the unbelieving stares he got from Richie and Mike, he frowned. “What? I mean sure, Stan doesn’t drink. Like at all! But even you and Ben have gotten drunk before.” 

MIke shrugged and inclined his head concedingly. 

“Why is it so unbelievable that Mike and Ben drink but you don’t have anything to say about me and Bill,” Richie asked, just barely having swallowed his food before speaking. Sometimes he would talk with his mouth full just to irritate Stan or Eddie. “You’re making us sound like some sort of troubled youth!” 

“You’re nothing but trouble and a terrible influence on all of us. Bill is a writer. Why would I be surprised? My point is most _normal_ teenagers seem to experiment with drugs and alcohol at least once I figured why not,” Eddie said, staring down at his salad and giving it a few irritated stabs. 

Mike, Bill, and Richie exchanged glances. 

_“Most normal teenagers”_. There was their answer.

As he got older Eddie had started to make a hobby out of doing things that would have made his mother shit bricks. He didn’t usually let her know he was doing those things. But he seemed to get something out of the rebellious action all the same. 

“Alright,” Richie said, tilting his chin in Eddie’s direction. “I’ll be there. Not drinking, though. I can’t stay at Bill’s tonight and my mom always catches me when I go home drunk.” Standing from his seat, he leaned over the table to ruffle up Eddie’s hair. “Besides I can’t miss our Eddiekins first time drinking!” 

Eddie slapped his hands away and flipped Richie the bird, making him laugh. Bill was trying to hide his laughter by snickering into a can of grape juice. He still got caught by Eddie’s dirty look and ducked his head a little, unable to hide his smile. Beside Richie, Mike shook his head, looking at his phone while the other three had their moment. 

“You three are like some old married couple and their dog,” Mike said, picking at one of those rectangular school pizzas that Richie couldn’t stand. Bev’s coming. Stan’s coming to ‘keep us from drowning in the quarry’. Ben hasn’t said anything yet.” 

“Ben’s going to be there if Bev is,” Richie said, slinging an arm around Mike’s shoulders and giving him a little shake. “Sounds like we’re having a party, boys!”


	2. Chapter 2

No one was ever at the quarry once the weather cooled off. The place was quiet, abandoned, and felt like it belonged entirely to them. It brought up a feeling of nostalgia in Eddie. It had been years since the Barrens. After that summer that they all became connected to each other, their old stomping grounds hadn’t felt quite like the home away from home that they had become. They had ended up hanging out in Bassey Park, the Aladdin, each other’s houses, and of course, the quarry. None of of those places had the same feeling to them that the Barrens had back then. 

Fall and Winter at the quarry was the only thing that came close. 

The Losers had set up camp on the staircase of white rock that they spent so much time lounging on during the Summer. It had been suggested that they go all the way to the top where they’d jump into the water. Stan had vetoed that idea. Much to Richie’s offense he had said that there was no way to trust that Richie wouldn’t drown, even if he wasn’t drinking. 

Richie had been right about Ben showing up with Beverly. The two of them were the last to arrive, just as the sun was starting to set over the trees. They came hustling up the path, each with a case of beer. Everyone drinking had pitched in and Beverly went to get it because she knew a guy who would buy beer for anyone who paid him for it. 

He was a sleazeball but a useful sleazeball. 

At the time Bill had complained about the fact that it was Pabst that Bev had brought but at about three, or maybe it was four beers in, he didn't seem to care. He was dancing with Beverly beside the small fire that Stan had built for them. It wasn’t big enough to catch attention from anyone but it was enough to beat back the encroaching cold if they sat close enough. 

Eddie was only on his second beer absolutely hating the taste, yet determined to continue drinking. His head was starting to get filled with this pleasant, fuzzy sort of feeling. Everything seemed just a little more beautiful and reality was a little more dreamlike. The moon shone down on the quarry, lighting everything in silver and turning it into an eerie black and white world. 

It was uncomfortable for some reason that Eddie couldn’t explain. So he kept his eyes on the fire and his friends. He wondered if Ben and Stan realized they’d formed some human barrier between the rest of the Losers and the drop off the highest edge of the rocks they were sitting on. So responsible. Eddie chuckled quietly to himself at the thought. Richie and Mike were to Eddie’s left talking about something. He hadn’t been listening enough to really keep up with their conversation. 

They had their heads pressed together, looking at Mike’s phone and chuckling with each other. Probably pictures of the group that Mike was sure to be taking all night. Scooting closer to them and then dropped his head on Richie’s shoulder. He didn’t even hesitate before slinging his arm around Eddie’s neck and letting him scoot closer. 

Richie was great sometimes. Sure, he annoyed the fuck out of Eddie most of the time but he wouldn't have wanted him any other way. Being annoying was Richie Tozier speak for ‘I love you and I think you love me too’. So even if he liked to push Eddie’s buttons it was kind of cute. Irritating as hell, but cute. 

Eddie took the biggest gulp of beer he managed and then shuddered at the taste. Richie laughed and gave him a squeeze. 

“Alright there, Eds,” Richie asked and Eddie lifted his head just enough to get a look at him. “Not gonna puke on me are you? Because I’ll push you in the water.” 

“Shut your face. I’m not drunk yet,” Eddie insisted before downing what was left of his second beer in an act of spite. He knew he pulled a face when MIke and Richie started to laugh but he just shook it off. Did anyone actually like how beer tasted?

Still, when Richie pressed another beer into his hand, Eddie cracked it open and took another swig. He laid his head on Richie’s shoulder again, watching Bill and Beverly dance. Each one had an ear bud stuck into their ear and they were holding hands, leaning away from each other as they swayed to whatever they were listening to. The orange light from the blaze at their feet lit them up, making them look like fire imps with their red hair and toothy grins. 

It crossed Eddie’s mind that there were probably a lot of people who would be upset to see their boyfriend dancing with Beverly Marsh. She was beautiful, her hair cut even shorter than it had been when they were kids. It was grown out just enough to curle cutely around her ears, across her forehead, and at the base of her neck. Even in her faded burgundy sweater and a pair of black jeans she looked stunning, freckles artfully scattered across her face. 

Bev was the sort of person who could drive you wild without even trying. Some girls hated her because she drove their boyfriends to distraction. The boys hated her because she wouldn’t give them the time of day. The Losers were the only boys she had time for and it lead to more than a few rumors about her flying around the school and town in general. Sadly, it was one of the things that hadn’t changed since their childhood. 

Still the idea that Eddie should feel jealous or possessive made him snort. If it had been anyone else it would have been another story, but it was Beverly. 

Their song ended, then Bill stepped toward Eddie and Richie, folding himself to the ground in front of them. He smiled as he knelt down in front of Richie and leaned into his space to give him a kiss. Eddie leaned back to watch, his head tilting to the side. It was cute, the way Bill kept pulling back only to close the distance between his and Richie’s lips again. When satisfied, Bill slouched down into the V of Richie’s legs. He was almost laying flat by the time he got himself situated so that his head was pillowed on Richie’s chest. A fresh beer was in his hand and he cracked it open, a dopey smile on his face. 

Bill’s cheeks and ears were flushed red, as were Richie’s. It made Eddie chuckle because Richie’s shyness about Bill’s affection didn’t make sense to him. He didn’t see how Richie could keep his hands off the taller boy. As if to prove that point, he suddenly decided it was time for him to get his own kiss. He knew that Richie’s no PDA policies, left Bill starved for his touch but that was no reason for Eddie to be ignored.

“Hey, Red. You forgot me,” Eddie said, leaning down as Bill tilted his head up to look at him. Their noses brushed before their lips met and Bill actually had the audacity to giggle. It was fucking adorable. Eddie couldn’t help biting his lip a little because of it. 

He pulled back when Bill started to squirm a little and grinned down at him. Bill’s face was flushed even more and his bottom lip looked wet and just a little red. The little smile he hid behind his beer had Eddie’s stomach flipping a couple times. Yeah. How Richie could keep his hands to himself was beyond Eddie. 

“Jesus Christ. I’m dating both of you and even I thought that was disgusting,” Richie said, faking a gag even as he slid his fingers through Bill’s hair. “What would your mother thing seeing you swapping spit like that Eddiekins?” 

“Shut the fuck up, Richie,” Eddie said, leaning into his side again. From across the fire, where Beverly was sitting with Ben, there was a laugh. 

“Yeah, Trashmouth. You’re just mad that you’re missing out on sloppy, drunk sex tonight,” Beverly said, grinning cheekily. Beside her, Stan pulled a face while Ben and Mike laughed. 

“Shut your face, Beaverly,” Richie snarked back, laughing along with everyone else as he put his arm around Eddie again after giving their finger. “She’s right, though. This isn’t fair.” 

The thought of his mother soured Eddie’s mood a little and he took a large gulp of his beer, glaring out over the top of the can. His mother would probably have a heart attack right then and there if she saw him. He had already had almost three beers and was snuggled up next to _both_ his boyfriends in the dark. The only thing standing between him and the cool night air was a red hoodie and jeans. It was a wild night! 

He wondered which thing she’d start screaming about first? The drinking? The boyfriends? The fact that he was out in the cold? She’d probably start with the cold until she realized he was drinking. And then she’d choke on her first rant to start on that. Then he’d kiss Bill and she’d just start screeching about AIDs. 

_“Oh Eddie! You can’t be gay!”_

_“You’re going to get AIDs, Eddie! You can’t do this to me!”_

_“AIDs is God punishing the gays! You’re going to die, Eddie!”_

At which point he’d proudly point out that he was also sucking face with Richie. Then she’d just croak! It was a morbid, maybe even evil thought, but part of him thought that he’d be more relieved than sad when she died. Every time he thought it, he felt guilty but it often came unbidden to his mind.

It wasn’t that Eddie didn’t love his mother. He loved her very much, he really did. But he hated how she treated him. Maybe when he eventually moved away from her. When he was living with Bill and Richie somewhere and his and his mother’s relationship was all phone calls and the occasional visit, maybe things would be better. 

That is if she would talk to him if and when she found out about Bill and Richie. He assumed she would eventually just because he didn’t plan on letting either one go. Maybe it was ridiculous and unrealistic to assume his high school romance would last forever but he believed it with all his heart. There was nothing that anyone could do to take Bill, Richie, or any of the Losers away from him, not even his mother. Oh she’d tried over the years. That was one fight she couldn’t win. Not with all the guilt trips and crying in the world. 

“H-h-hey, you alright,” Bill asked, lifting his hand to grab a hold of Eddie’s, pulling it closer so they could rest their clasped hands on Richie’s knee. 

Eddie looked down at him and blinked, smiling slightly. Bill’s other hand was steadying the beer resting on his chest and he was looking up at Eddie with those anxious blue eyes of his. Everyone else was talking over them. It wasn’t odd for Bill to get quiet when everyone was carrying their situation. 

“M’fine,” Eddie replied with a little smile, downing the rest of his beer. It was surprisingly light. Maybe he’d been sipping it that whole time he’d been zoned out, thinking about mother.


	3. Chapter 3

“Wild thing, you make my heart sing,” Bill sang at the top of his voice, leaning out the back back window of his own car. Eddie was on the other side, singing with him while Richie drove them toward the Denbrough house. “You make eeeeverything groovy, wild thing!” 

Both of them were drunk, not giving a single shit if they woke anyone up while they cruised through the neighborhood. Richie had long since given up trying to keep them from leaning out the windows like a couple dogs, Bill thought maybe he was enjoying their drunken lunacy too much to really want them to stop. 

Eddie disappeared from the otherside of the car and Bill felt someone tugging on his belt so he let himself sink down into the car. Eddie snickered as he grabbed his face and pulled him in for a kiss. It was a little sloppy and his mouth tasted like beer. Since neither one of them could stop smiling, their teeth clicked together, making them both laugh even harder. 

“Wild thing, I think I love you! But I want to know fooor suuuure,” Eddie sang drunkenly toward the roof of the car, leaning back until he fell against the window, pulling Bill with him. 

“Hold me tight, I love you,” Bill sang back to Eddie, completing the first verse as he lay on top of Eddie in the back seat, wrapping his long arms around the shorter boy. 

“You two are fucking stupid,” Richie said from the front seat. It was too dark to see but Bill could hear the grin in his voice. 

“You love us,” Eddie said smugly and Bill could feel his thin but warm hands stroking up and down his back. “I love us. I love you guys so much.”

Eddie had been babbling like that since his fourth beer. He’d gotten about half way through a fifth one before handing it over to Bill. Getting Eddie drunk had been one of his best ideas, ever. It wasn’t as though Eddie ever had a problem with speaking his mind around them but the stuff he said was just so cute and weird when he was drunk. He had started following ‘Shut up Richie’ with ‘Kiss me’ instead of ‘asshole’. And he kept going on about how nice Bill’s face was. 

Occasionally he’d branch out to how pretty and nice Beverly was or how dependable Ben was. It was awesome that Stan could make fires and that Mike had better not post any of the videos he caught of him doing stupid shit online. 

Bill wished he could live in those fuzzy, light moments where he was drowned in friendship. He could spend every night of his life dancing with Beverly and listening to Richie annoy Eddie and Stan. Beverly and Richie would go at each other, making everyone laugh while Mike documented everything. Then Ben would help pour them all in their cars while Mike and Stan make sure everyone had someone sober to drive them home. Bill loved his Losers. 

He especially loved Richie and Eddie, though. 

Smiling, he listened to the two of them singing Wild Thing while his ear was pressed into Eddie’s chest. Bill pulled the sleeves of his dark green henley down over his palms and squeezed Eddie a little tighter. He never wanted this moment to end. Unfortunately he could already feel the car slowing down as they neared his house. 

With a gentle turn the car finally stopped and Richie cut the engine. Bill didn’t want to leave yet, though. He nuzzled his face further into Eddie’s chest, refusing to move even when the driver’s side door opened and closed. Then the one at his feet popped open and Richie was leaning over the both of them. 

“Home again, home again, jiggity jig. Come on guys. I gotta get home,” Richie said, and when Bill still refused to move he groaned. “Awe come on, Big Bill. Don’t be like this.” Still nothing. Then suddenly Richie’s hands were on his sides and Bill started to howl and squirm.

Richie kept tickling him until he fell out of the car, and then paused to bend down and kiss him. Bill whined when he tried to pull away, though, wrapping his arms tightly around his neck. It took him a little longer but Richie did manage to stand up, hauling Bill with him. 

“D-Don’t want you to g-go,” Bill whined, pressing his face into Richie’s neck. He smelled like wood-smoke and sweat. 

His hands were wider than Eddie’s as they spread over Bill’s ribs, steadying him. They petted over Bill’s sides and then stroked over his back as Richie pulled him into a tight hug. Eddie’s hands touched touched the small of his back and then wrapped around him so they were on his stomach. 

“Why’re we hugging like this is the last time we’re going to see each other,” Eddie asked against Bill’s shoulder. One of his hands petted low over Bill’s stomach and the other reached out to curl into the top of Richie’s jeans. 

“Because Bill’s clingy when he’s drunk. You’re no better,” Richie said, letting go of Bill. He used one hand to pry the redhead’s arms from around his neck and the other to get Eddie’s hand off his belt. 

“Mmm I j-ju-just love you so m-m-much,” Bill said, grinning at Richie when he finally got loose. Eddie slid under Bill’s arm, the two of them leaning into each other. “D-Do you really have t-to go?” 

“You know I’d stay if I could,” Richie said, leaning in to give Bill another peck on the lips. This one was quick and he leaned back before he could get ensnared in those long, reaching arms again. He didn’t anticipate Eddie grabbing hold of his shirt to pull him down for a kiss as well, though. Chuckling, Richie kissed him back before pulling back again. “You two going to be able to get inside without me?” 

“Y-yeah,” Bill said glumly, a pout on his handsome face. He didn’t want Richie to go, but he couldn’t make him stay. “Love you, Richie.” 

He lunged forward for another hug, this time letting go after a beat or two without having to be pried off like an unruly octopus. Eddie took his turn next, also muttering words of love. Richie laughed at the both of them, shoving his hands into his pockets. Even though he kept saying that he needed to go, he seemed to be having as much trouble leaving as Eddie and Bill were having letting him go. 

“Love you guys too. Don’t like puke in your sleep and die.” 

That was his parting line after about three minutes of the three of them pussyfooting around saying goodbye. Eddie and Bill waved him off before stumbling up Bill’s front porch. 

Bill didn’t bother trying to be quiet the worst that would happen was that his parents would yell at him for being too loud then forget about him again by the time they woke up again. He could feel Eddie’s hands on his back and waist as he paused to lock the door behind them. Eddie was still all over him when he swerved into the kitchen and grabbed a couple bottles of Gatorade out of the fridge before leading the way upstairs. 

They slipped into Bill’s room with minimal difficulties and only then did Eddie stop touching him. Even then, it was only so he could strip down to his boxers. Then he was touching Bill again, smiling and pulling at his jeans and shirt. Snickering to himself, Bill tossed the gatorade bottles on the bed and peeled off his everything but his boxer shorts. Much as they had joked about it at the quarry, Bill wasn’t planning on any sloppy, drunk sex tonight. 

“C-come on. Let’s get in b-bed,” Bill urged, putting his hands on Eddie’s shoulder and pushing him toward the bed. 

“I’m not tired yet,” Eddie whined but did as he was told, flopping onto the bed dramatically when he reached it. He clumsily shoved the gatorade bottles off the side. 

“Y-You will be wh-when you lay d-d-down a while,” Bill said, laughing quietly as he followed Eddie under the blankets. 

It was dark in the room, they spent enough time in Bill’s room that it hadn’t been too hard to navigate with the moonlight shining in through the windows. As soon as he was in bed, he wrapped his arm tightly around Eddie and pulled him close. His cheek pressed into Eddie’s chest and his head was filled with that heartbeat again. It didn’t feel the same when Richie wasn’t pressed up against his back but it was still miles better than being alone. 

Bill hated being alone more than anything in the world. Sometimes he felt so clingy and pitiful because of it. It wasn’t just with Richie and Eddie, either. He was like that with all the Losers. 

The feel of Beverly linking their arms as they walked through Derry, or Mike’s arm hooking around his neck in comradery was something he lived for. It made him feel like he was part of something that mattered, as did Stan slapping the back of his arm to get his attention or Ben’s shoulder brushing against his when he squared up with Bill against the likes of Joshua Lyman and his friends. All of it, every little touch or silent conversation he had with the Losers made him feel loved. Sometimes he felt like the seven of them were close enough that they could almost read each other’s minds. 

Bill didn’t know what he’d do if he lost a single one of them. But then he didn’t have to. 

Eddie’s hand stroked through his hair and he started humming “Wild Thing” against the top of Bill’s head. He took a few deep breaths against Eddie’s chest. He smelled like soap and skin, with just the faintest hint of smoke on his skin. Sometimes Bill didn’t know what he did to deserve this. 

Because it was his fault Georgie died. It had to be. If that wasn’t the reason his parents seemed not to care if he existed or not, then they just saw something worthless in him that the Losers had yet to find yet. 

His breath started to come out a little shuddery and wet as he thought of that. The idea that one day Eddie and Richie would realize there wasn’t really much about him to love, or that the Losers would see how useless he was and leave him alone made him feel vaguely sick. 

“Hey, Billy Baby, you okay,” Eddie asked quietly in the dark. He held Bill’s head more tightly and curled his fingers into his hair. “What’s wrong? Why’re you crying?” 

Oh God he was crying. Bill Sniffled, letting go of Eddie with one arm and curling it between them to wipe at his face. What did he say? ‘Because was thinking of when you all realize there’s nothing good about me?’ He couldn’t even make his mouth open to say anything! Feeling small, and weird, and stupid he just pressed his face into Eddie’s chest even further.

Eddie didn’t ask what was wrong again, though Bill could feel the nervous tension vibrating through him with the way he started to rock their bodies, ever so subtly. His hans kept roaming anxiously over his back and swiping through his hair. Instead of humming ‘Wild Things’ he started on something that Bill recognized as being from RENT. Beverly would have known what it was within the first couple bars. The only words that Bill could fit to the melody were toward the end, though. 

_“...but I die, without you…”_

“Y-You won’t l-l-leave m-m-m-me, ri-ight,” Bill stuttered out, making Eddie go quiet. A quiet laugh ruffled the hair on top of Bill’s head. 

“Not in a million years,” Eddie said and Bill squeezed him tighter. “I love you Billy Baby. You can’t get rid of me now.” 

“D-Do you th-think. Do you think R-R-Richie…” Bill couldn’t get any further. His lips seemed to glue themselves shut and his jaw refused to crack open to let the words come out. _‘Do you think Richie loves me?’_

But Eddie must have understood because he laughed a little louder. 

“He loves you more than the sound of his own voice. We both love you, and you love us, and we love each other,” Eddie said, pulling himself back from Bill only to lean back down and start planting kisses all over his tear-damp face. 

He didn’t have to clarify that it didn’t just count for the three of them, but all the Losers. It wasn’t the first time they had this conversation. It probably wouldn’t be the last. Every now and then Bill just needed to be reminded that the Losers were his family of choice and they loved him.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm thinking about writing another one of these to cover Beverly, Ben, Stan, and Mike's problems. What do y'all think?


End file.
